there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize