Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
