I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
