It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
