I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
