Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Randomize