why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
