Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
