her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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