guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
