we have pet lesbian snakes
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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