You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
