Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
