There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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