1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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