he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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