That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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