Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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