Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
