porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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