Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
