I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
