Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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