shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
