does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
