I want to walk on stilts...naked
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
