Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
