who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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