She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
