Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
