There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
