I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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