is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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