he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
