Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
