His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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