Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
