the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
