right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
