Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
