TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
