I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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