but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
