quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize