THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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