her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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