I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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