the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
