My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize