my mouth tastes like poor choices
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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