Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
