It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
