My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
