More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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