she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
