Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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