Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
