I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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